Integrity- Public speakers, whether they are preachers or talk show hosts or politicians, etc. they all struggle with an unspoken issue. It is what is referred to by pastors as the "pulpit gap". That is, the difference between what we say in the pulpit and how we live our lives. But the truth is that this is not only an issue for public speakers but for everyone one of us. Integrity is when what I say and what I do are in complete and consistent harmony. When a public figure has a moral failure the extent and ease to which the public forgives them is often connected to how they have verbally portrayed their values and beliefs. People still will trust someone who displays terrible public behavior if their actions are not in contradiction to what they say they believe.
Once, I was driving in downtown Los Angeles when a man approached my car at a red light. As he leaned in it was obvious he had been drinking. He asked if I could spare some change. I said to him, "If you will promise me that you will spend it on food and not booze I will give you some money." He looked me in the eye and said, "I am sorry sir but I can't promise that. The truth is that I am going to spend it on booze." I was in shock. There was no way I would have known if he kept his promise or not. Surely this was a man of Integrity. This had a profound impact on me. My integrity has become one of my most cherished possessions.
I was shopping in Home Depot one day. After checking out with several items I became aware that the cashier had failed to ring up a $2.00 item that was in my cart. I went back into the store with the item and let the cashier know of the oversight. She looked at me in disbelief. She said, "No one ever does this even with expensive items and yet you came back over $2.00?" I just smiled and said, "My integrity is worth more than $2.00. If we compromise our integrity on little things it is only a matter of time that they will be compromised on big things. We live in a society where the phrase "my word is my bond" has little value or meaning. If you want to truly be successful then be committed to living in a way that everything you do matches everything you say.
Honor-Honor comes when doing right is more important than being right. It is not about an image that you try to present to people which makes them think highly of you. It happens naturally when they know you put their needs above yours. It has been said that people don’t care how much you know till they know how much you care. I once had a friend who was a very gifted public speaker. He was invited to speak for a group of people in a small town and he invited me to attend. He couldn’t wait to wow these "simple people" with his great speach. He stepped on to the platform and you could see the attitude of confidence on his face. But as he began to speak it was just as obvious that these people were not buying it. They were uninterested in what he had to say. They were restless and bored and it did not escape his notice. He began to get flustered and got off track. By the time he finished, he stepped down from the platform a humbled man. There was an elderly man who approached him and offered some advice. He said, "Son if you had gone up on that platform the way you came down, you would have come down the way you went up."
Honor is about treating others as more important than ourselves, placing their welfare above our own. Doing business with honor is when we are not willing to make the sale at any cost. We make the sale only if it truly is in the best interest of the customer. Honor comes from knowing that when you do the right thing then whatever the result, it is the right thing, good or bad. If you do the wrong thing then whatever the result, good or bad it is the wrong thing.
Dignity: According to the dictionary dignity is the quality or state of being worthy of respect. Respect cannot be demanded. Respect is not automatic based on power or status. Respect comes from a state of being, a mindset of integrity and honor. In other words, dignity, this state of being that comes naturally for those who live with integrity and honor. I believe that the greatest dignity is that which leaves a legacy for our children and grandchildren. In other words dignity in the way we conduct business actually produces respect that can be inherited. Do we do business in a way our family will be proud of for generations?
As a marriage coach I have seen all too often families who live with great benefits of financial success but have great feelings of shame because of what it took to achieve that success. Many times it came at the price of neglecting the family or business practices that, while not illegal, were less than honorable. This attitude and view of success at all cost is passed down generation to generation and has profoundly and adversely affected our society. No wonder the internet is filled with scams and misleading "opportunities". I challenge us all to return dignity to the business world. Let us leave a legacy our children can be proud of.
When we achieve these three things, Integrity, Honor and Dignity we are truly sucessful. The by-products are hapiness and satisfaction. This is the success I seek. This does not exclude financial success. It enhances it. It makes it worth achieving.
Sam Lewis
